He should take his manager’s advice to let the engineer fail. There’s a good chance his manager is saying that because that’s the only way she can take action (things shouldn’t work that way but sometimes do). In any case, he brought the problem to his manager, she told him how to handle it, and he’s ignoring the solution she gave him. The answer is to follow her instructions!
I get being concerned that it will cause delays in production and damage the team’s reputation, but sometimes that’s the only way this stuff gets addressed, and it doesn’t make sense for him to be more worried about those potential consequences than his manager is. If he wants, he could go back to her one more time and say, “I’m preparing to take your advice and that means XYZ will happen — so I just want to confirm that’s how you want me to proceed.” But after that he should do what she suggested.
3. I’m in HR and an employee asked me out
I’M IN HR AND AN EMPLOYEE ASKED ME ON A DATE. I POLITELY DECLINED, BUT NOW I’M WONDERING IF I NEED TO TELL MY SUPERVISOR ABOUT IT. I DON’T HAVE ANY CONCERNS ABOUT SEXUAL HARASSMENT OR OUR ABILITY TO CONTINUE A PROFESSIONAL RELATIONSHIP. BUT BECAUSE I’M INVOLVED IN PROCESSING THIS PERSON’S CHECKS AND APPROVING THEIR TIME OFF AND SO FORTH, I’M A LITTLE WORRIED THAT THIS COULD TURN INTO A PROBLEM IF I DON’T MENTION IT AND IT COMES UP AGAIN LATER (FOR EXAMPLE, IN THE FORM OF A COMPLAINT FROM THE EMPLOYEE ABOUT SOME OTHER ISSUE THAT THEY FEEL IS RELATED TO IT). AT THE SAME TIME, IT DOESN’T SEEM LIKE THAT BIG OF A DEAL TO ME AND MY PREFERENCE WOULD BE TO JUST FORGET IT AND MOVE ON.
SHOULD I MENTION IT TO MY SUPERVISOR TO BE ON THE SAFE SIDE, OR DOES IT EVEN MATTER IF IT’S NOT RELATED TO A CURRENT EMPLOYMENT ISSUE?
Err on the safe side and mention it so that if it does turn into a problem later, your manager will already have the context. Give her the same caveats you gave here — you don’t feel harassed and have no concerns about your ability to continue a professional relationship — but explain that you’re raising it just in case anything does happen because of it down the road.
4. “How do you do”
I WAS TAUGHT THAT, WHEN MEETING SOMEONE NEW, IT’S CORRECT TO SAY, “HOW DO YOU DO.” BUT NO ONE SAYS THAT ANYMORE, AND I DON’T WANT TO COME ACROSS AS AN OLD WHEN MEETING INTERVIEWERS, ESPECIALLY SINCE I’M OVER 40. SO DO I TURN MY BACK ON MISS MANNERS’ TEACHINGS AND SAY “NICE TO MEET YOU”?
Yes. Even Miss Manners seems to accept that “nice to meet you” has mostly replaced “how do you do.”
